Cuddle Only Syndrome

It is so easy to fall into a cuddle only syndrome. We love it, the parrot loves it, what's not to love?

However, when we only cuddle our bird, they receive a different message than we think we're sending.

Imagine them in the wild. Do you think they sit around and cuddle? No. They stay close to each other to signify a mate bond, and four eyes are better than two. They preen each other and feed each other to strengthen this bond.

Then they go to work. Looking for a nesting site, defending each other and their nest, and producing young. Being together is serious business and has a serious purpose.

When your bird cuddles with you, he/she will perceive you as his/her mate. (You're not going to be very good at this job.) However, he/she will take on the job wholeheartedly and get very frustrated during the process. Imagine the stress of it! You're not behaving the way a mate should.

The wild instincts are surfacing like crazy but the reality of the situation is feudal. Often the interlopers that happen into the space are driven off with a bite. Many times the perceived mate gets the bite as an attempt to make that person "fly away".

It is so much better to establish the relationship as a parent/teacher. This doesn't have to be extensive trick training and long sessions of clicker or target training. (Although if you have the time, go for it!) Establishing a teacher role can happen with tiny baby steps every time you use a cue and a praise. "Step Up" "Step Down" "Come Here" "Water?" "Want a bite?" etc. A verbal cue followed with some animated praise "Good Bird!" goes a long way to build the bird's self esteem and makes you a teaching influence. Many parrot owners stop using verbal cues because their bird steps up anyway... that's not the point. Your aim is to have a bird that feels good about doing as he or she is told and thus see you in a different light. Develop lots and lots of phrases throughout the parrot's life to cue your bird. "Want a shower?" "Good Bird!"

Your bird will be relieved to not have the job of being your mate.